I’m just lazy.

Some how, somewhere and for some reason I became lazy. Don’t get me wrong if you need something done efficiently and at it’s best…I’m your girl. I do my job above and beyond, Im always willing to learn new things and whatever task I’m given expect to have a few more completed. I’m a very caring person and sometimes I let my emotions get the best of me.

When it comes to my relationship I love to make him happy! I love putting a smile on his face and give him memories that will stay with him forever. I want to be that girl who stole his heart and taught him how to love, that girl who encouraged him to be his best regardless of it being to my liking. So I suppose I’m not all that lazy in that category.

So what is it that’s making me feel this way? Is it my new home? My new job? The lack of familiar faces? Maybe after all that training and change I don’t feel accomplished after all. Why is growing up so scary? It seems like yesterday I was anxiously busing my way to school for my first day in college. I can see it so clearly in my head. The morning fog that rolled up my busy street. The sound of cars honking and trucks screeching on their brakes. That jittery feeling I had while tapping my 3rd time renewed OPUS card.

The bus ride…that awful bus ride! 42 minutes exactly from home to my second bus. 26 minutes to my third bus if I caught them on time and 17 minutes to school! I used to wake up so early and go to sleep so late. Writers block would always get the best of me when ever midterms would come around but non the less I never felt lazy. I would hand in all my work in time and even work over the weekend. Not the typical job either… I used to work so many hours in one weekend you could basically consider me a full-time employee. Then I became a manager, weekdays after school I’d book and confirm reservations!

I actually loved my old job! Events have alway caught my eye. I would have loved to plan events and be some sort of project manager!

Hopefully with time I’ll become more accustom Β to my new life. I am grateful for all the changes that have allowed me to grow so quickly. The only thing that’s missing is routine! Once everything falls in place I’m sure that I won’t feel so lazy.

Lazy is in italic because I’m not quite sure where to put my finger…. Am I being lazy or am I subconsciously not willing to completely adapt to my new life…

Question of the day:

Why is growing up so scary?

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